Sondheim's Blues

You'd never guess, but I'm actually really busy at work!! Am trying to sort out all the stuff for Jeremy's first couple of days, which happen while I'm on holiday from tomorrow until Wednesday, doing State Fair.

Lunchtime lyrics!
"Hello folks, it's me Stephen Sondheim,
don't go, folks, I won't be a pain.
No, no, folks, you'll still get a fond rhyme,
it's just I got a problem that I want to explain.
You see I'm under-produced of late, very ignored,
theatrical budgets are lean,
I get my respect, I get my award,
but as you suspect, you know what I mean?

I've got those 'everybody loves me but nobody will produce me' blues,
That 'isn't he a genius, but don't give him any money' feeling.
That 'isn't he a work of art? but not fun enough,
He's ok for elitist but not popular stuff',
Those 'don't put on my albums when you want some dinner music' feelings!
Those 'I won a lot of Tonys but my shows don't show a profit' blues.

D'you hear the one about Glenn Close? Ok this is good, ready?

She said she'll do Night Music, "Revival!" she says,
Isn't that a thrill? "Send in the clowns"
But then she gets an offer, "Much better" she says,
Cruella DeVille. "Puppies! Mwaahahaha"
The Dodgers say they'll back me, "We'll do it" they say,
"if you get Bernadette" - wow, a job.
But Bernadette is busy, "Forever!" she says,
"I'm tired of being your pet"

No, no Bernadette, Bernadette, say it isn't so!
"No, no, I can't stand you! I can't stand you!"

I just flew in from my workshop of Wise Guys,
and boy, are my rhymes tired. Hahaha! Now take Hal Prince. Please.

I've... got... those... 'everybody loves me but nobody will produce me' blues,
(everybody!) "Sondheim's bluuuues!"
That 'don't put on Assassins if you plan on disco dancing' feeling,
"Feeling!!"
That 'will you write a song for me like Losing My Mind?'
'If you want a star like me then kiss my behind!'
Those 'actors love my lyrics but they hate to memorise them' feelings...
Bla-bla-blues!
Those 'write for me, I need you,
Sondheim is prestigious',
As Julie Andrews told me once,
"You're brilliant but aggregious"

[...]
Those 'God that's good, but too weird,
What was that? What a genius,
Everybody loves my writing
But the wise list find it biting
Good, bad, start, stop,
Rich, broke, hit, flop,
Everybody loves me but nobody will produce me',
Bluuuuuuuuuuuuues!!!"
- 'Sondheim's Blues', Gerard Alessandrini Forbidden Broadway